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1.
Every time I give my heart away I just keep getting it back again You broke your lease on my heart So you won’t be getting your check back Heart for rental Heart for rental Heart for rental But I want to sell I want to sell Every time I give my heart away I think it’s gonna be better But morning finds me the same as before Where nighttime left me crying Heart for rental Heart for rental Heart for rental But I want to sell I want to sell And I’ve got so much sweetness And so much love to give And only one short life to live And with such tender feeling Of course my heart is reeling When there’s no one there To give it to Every time I give my heart away Every time I give my heart away… Heart for rental Heart for rental Heart for rental But I want to sell I want to sell I want to sell… I want to sell…
2.
I got you In the back of my mind tonight Till you flitter forth somehow And you’re all I see right now And I got you Your songs and your melodies Are all that I can see They’re all that I can see And I want to know you And I want to hold you near I want to learn everything about you I want to know why you cry And why you jump for joy I want to know who you are and why And I want you On the tip of my tongue tonight The only name I’ll say The only name I’ll say And I want you To say that you’ll hold my hand Together we can stand Together we can stand And I want to know you And I want to hold you near I want to learn everything about you I want to know why you cry And why you jump for joy I want to know who you are and why
3.
Another fight, another stinging word That lands so hard upon my ear Don't try to tell me what I'm looking for 'Cause there's a reason I'm still here You're the only one Who can knock me down 'Cause you're the only one That I care so much about You can pick my teeth from a frozen field You can find my heart Scattered among the leaves You can break my bones with a single blow I could weather the sticks and stones If only you won't hurt me Another wasted and a lonely night Whenever things aren't right with you I know that you don't mean these words you say 'Cause after all, you're still here too You're the only one Who can knock me down 'Cause you're the only one That I care so much about You can pick my teeth from a frozen field You can find my heart Scattered among the leaves You can break my bones with a single blow I could weather the sticks and stones If only you won't hurt me You can pick my teeth from a frozen field You can find my heart Scattered among the leaves You can break my bones with a single blow I could weather the sticks and stones If only you won't hurt me
4.
The Morning 02:51
I wake and feel your breath upon my shoulder I feel you stir, and hear you gently rise I turn to whisper softly that I love you And I never want to have to say goodbye Then I hear you say, "We better put some clothes on" There's coffee brewed, and soon it will be cold Until this time, I knew that I'd be leaving But it only just now hit me That you're not coming with me Then suddenly, I find my tears are falling Your simple truth has brought my whole world down Can I miss my flight and lie with you forever? Can you hold me here and kiss me? Why aren't you coming with me? It feels as though we both have always been here We rise to face the day when I'll be gone As soon as I get dressed I have to go now And when I feel the airplane lift me I'll know that you're not coming with me
5.
Far Away 04:16
It's the end of the year I've spent my last dollar to get to you I took you to dinner Knowing that I cannot pay As we're running away out the back I tell you, "I'm sorry, dear That I can't give you all you deserve In the short time I'm here." Far away I traveled so far to be with you Far away I've got to be headed back soon But tonight I'm just lonesome here Stretched on the couch in your room I'm another day poorer Another day deeper in debt to you I found something pretty Something else that I wish I could get for you Oh I'm sorry my darling, I Couldn't do right But all I have left of myself I will give you tonight Far away I traveled so far to be with you Far away I've got to be headed back soon But I spent my last night with you Stretched on the couch in your room It's the end of the night I'm flying home drunk and I miss you Just want to hold you now Want to be near you and kiss you... Far away I traveled so far to be with you Far away I've got to be headed back soon But I spent my last night with you Stretched on the couch in your room I'm sorry I spent my last night with you Stretched on the couch in your room...
6.
Empty Words 03:02
Sitting with you on a blanket by the lake The air is magic like the night that we met I kneel before you, gazing in eyes I know so well And ask you the question I’ve been thinking of My heart is shaking My head is racing I feel my hands grow cold… Empty words Just say something dear I asked you to spend your life with me Empty words It’s either yes or no So tell me, tell me what it will be Stuck in a moment, all is standing still The least you could do is let me know how you feel I poured my heart out on this dirty gravel shore So give me the answer you’ve been thinking of My knees are hurting my stomach’s turning I feel my blood run cold... Empty words Just say something dear I asked you to spend your life with me Empty words It’s either yes or no So tell me, tell me what it will be But silence is your answer (Silence is your answer) Silence is your answer (Silence is your answer) Silence is your answer (Silence is your answer) Empty words Just say something dear I asked you to spend your life with me...
7.
Sunset Shore 04:26
I’m headed back to the sunset shore I'm going back, I don't know what for Boston's far behind me now tonight Boston's far behind me now tonight Remember the nights of just you and me? I'd gather you close, and we'd watch the sea Oh we'd watch the sun fall gently through the waves Oh we'd watch the sun fall gently through the waves Now I run to the water Find that the water is gone Now I run to the water Find that the water is gone Remember the nights when we've laid up late? We talk on the phone, and you say you'll wait We remember how I kissed you and you cried We remember how I kissed you and you cried Now I run to the water Find that the water is gone Now I run to the water Find that the water is gone I'm headed back to the sunset shore And nothing is where it was before Oh there's some things that you think will never change Oh there's some things that you think will never change Now I run to the water Find that the water is gone Now I run to the water Find that the water is gone Now I run to the water Find that the water is gone (Headed back to the sunset shore) Run to the water Find that the water is gone (Going back, I don't know what for) Run to the water Find that the water is gone (Boston's far behind me now tonight) Run to the water Find that the water is gone (Boston's far behind me now tonight) Run to the water Find that the water is gone…
8.
It’s a long and a dangerous tale How our tears could ever meet again And though they’ve run a bitter trail They’ll be together in the end My tears have mingled with the rain along the river Watch them roll along Watch them roll so free And if you ever cry for things that might have been Then in the sea, our tears will meet again Now I know that you’ve cried since you’ve gone And I wonder if you’ve cried for me And though our tears are shed alone They’ll be together in the sea My tears have mingled with the rain along the river Watch them roll along Watch them roll so free And if you ever cry for things that might have been Then in the sea, our tears will meet again My tears have mingled with the rain along the river Watch them roll along Watch them roll so free And if you ever cry for things that might have been Then in the sea, our tears will meet again In the sea, our tears will meet again
9.
This road used to lead somewhere I used to know each hill and curve Back when we lived together Now I find I must return Oh, I heard it all burned down I've got to see this for myself I know it can't be gone Now I stand here alone Burned down and overthrown If I didn't know any better I wouldn't know that once This was our home I miss the time we shared Back then we never looked ahead I miss the couch and chairs The lamp, the table, and the bed Now, every story has burned down A perfect place can never last I must face our time is gone Now I stand here alone Burned down and overthrown If I didn't know any better I wouldn't know that once This was our home Now I stand here alone Burned down and overthrown If I didn't know any better I wouldn't know that once This was our home Now I stand here alone Burned down and overthrown If I didn't know any better I wouldn't know that once This was our home
10.
Alibi 03:28
Can you tell me why you’re here tonight? You could be back in your nice warm bed Why do you come here to share your fears with me? You could be home with him instead I know it’s not because you love me You love my brother, but I can’t help wishing You didn’t come just to hide away So I have a suspicion... that I’ll be your alibi Just for tonight, Just for tonight I’ll be your alibi Just for tonight, I’ll tell another lie Another night I see you steal away Bruised and broken, you come to me crying If he’s so bad, tell me why don’t you leave him? Just don’t make me keep lying I’ll be your alibi Just for tonight, Just for tonight I’ll be your alibi Just for tonight, I’ll tell another lie You know it breaks my heart to see you hurtin’. I only wish I could kiss all your tears away But as it is, I’ll just die each time you cry And hide my face in the curtain INSTRUMENTAL CHORUS This is the last time you must dark my door... Oh no, please say that’s not blood on your fingers But just lie down, and I’ll wash it all away For I see your tear lingers I’ll be your alibi I won’t tell what you did, I’ll keep your secret hidden I'll be your alibi When they ask where you were Say you were here all night...
11.
My love It's crazy That I should rise And you should fall For you Had promise You were the best One of us all Ohh… Goodbye, my sweet calamity I thought I'd be your remedy But I am only making it worse I'm only dragging you down with me My love I'll save you Won't drag you back Into my scene For you Without me The only way To get you clean Ohh… Goodbye, my sweet calamity I thought I'd be your remedy But I am only making it worse I'm only dragging you down with me My love I'm leaving Can't stand to watch You wash away So I Am setting you free Step back into the light of day... Goodbye, my sweet calamity I thought I'd be your remedy Oh, oh, I’m not your remedy Oh, oh, I’m not your remedy Ohh...
12.
We've been on the the run now (Policemen on our trail) About since mid-July My darling June and I Our love will never fail She's my June and I'm her Casey She's my June and I'm her Casey Here at the desert's edge (We've reached the mountains now) We share one dusty kiss And fall asleep like this With horses bedded down One last night before we're parted One last night before we're parted Where the desert turns to mountains You must leave me there Head on south my love Along the foothills, while I Lead them all away Across the pass above And they might get me But at least you're free The next days find me cold (Now just my horse and I) We crest the pass, and then We start back down again I know they're still behind Heading up the mountain towards me Heading up the mountain towards me I'll make my way down south (We said that's where we'd meet) It seems I've lost them all Though I thought for sure I'd fall And die to set her free But fate can show surprising kindness But fate can show surprising kindness Where the mountains turn to ocean I will meet you there Sail across the sea Far from our pasts, where we can Make a better life Just my June and me Now I'm almost there I smell the salty air The paper came today (I see her in the news) "JUSTICE IN THE PASS! IN BLODDY STANDOFF, LAWMEN KILLED THE OUTLAW JUNE." She stayed and fought to buy my freedom She stayed and fought to buy my freedom So now I'm all alone (The sun sets o'er the sea) I sit with head in hand On California sand I have no hope for me Love for her was all that drove me Love for her was all that drove me So where the oceans turn to starlight We will meet again I will sail so far Across horizons, and I'll Hold you there forever Out among the stars Where we'll both be free... She's my June and I'm her Casey She's my June and I'm her Casey
13.
There's a raindrop on your forehead And it wakes you from your dream The place you go When life Is harder than it seems The rain has come And broke the dawn You thought that you were not alone When the nighttime left you weary And you felt your will grow frail You stole away You stole away As daylight failed Through the woods down to the river To the point above the shoals You looked around To find the place You used to go The rain has come And broke the dawn You thought that you were not alone You pulled whiskey from your pocket And you drank it deeply down It cooled your hand And dulled the pain You've brought from town So you took a rusty locket From a hole beside the tree And it trembled in your hand As you thought of what Could never be INSTRUMENTAL CHORUS There's a raindrop on your forehead And your whiskey has grown warm You leave her there And return to home Before the storm The rain has come And broke the dawn You thought that you were not alone The rain has come And broke the dawn You dreamed that you were not alone

about

This album, like most albums, is a collection of short stories. I wrote them between 2009 and 2015. They are a glimpse into what I was doing and feeling and imagining during that time.

I have divided the songs thematically into four groups of three, with the final song as an epilogue or coda.

I hope you enjoy Sweet Calamity!
-Ryan Bowers

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released May 1, 2018

Copyright 2018 © ℗ Ryan Bowers

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Ryan Bowers and the Brain Trust Fairbanks, Alaska

Ryan Bowers was born and raised in Alaska, and trained at Berklee College of Music and the University of Alaska Fairbanks. He writes and performs emotionally complex and catchy acoustic songs full of wordcraft and devastation, with thoughtful storytelling and a beating dance heart. ... more

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